Profound statement? no. True statement? yep.
I am not perfect, and have realized that even more vividly recently. It seems that no matter where I am, I see my sin just growing out of me. A little monster? Hardly, and it also has the ability to change color. Green, Jealously. Red, anger. You name a color, I can find a companion emotion. My own selfishness seems to explode in every reflection I catch a glimpse of- no matter how quickly the moment of realization. It petrifies me. It humbles me beyond belief to know that the Lord is willing to cover me with His grace. It makes me wonder if a person will ever be able to love me in spite of my sin. because it is alarmingly harsh when someone is willing to point it out. because I know it is an ongoing, never-ending, up-hill battle (at least in this life).
I have mentioned before just how wonderful the community is where I live. One of the best things that I have discovered about this community is their authenticity. These people-wonderful, compassionate, and loving- are refreshing to say the least. They are willing to be honest about their own sins, failures, and mistakes. They are willing to open their arms to me and accept me for the sinner that I am. But it doesn't stop there- and that is something that I am becoming increasingly grateful for. Accountability, challenging conversations, heartfelt testimonies surround me. Whether it be at Bible study, community group, a tear-down of an event, or in the local grocery store- these people care. These people are not okay with being stagnate. These people are not settling. And the most fascinating part is to see how the Lord allows one person's lows to be the same time as another's highs. The ebb and flow of my life is just part of His provision.
I realize that I have always been unusually passionate about interpersonal relationships. I realize that my excitement about healthy communication is somewhat strange. However, I truly believe that the Lord calls us to be involved in a community. I cringe when I hear people say they are simply reading their Bible at home, that they don't need to go to church. Maybe I am naive. Maybe people are able to challenge themselves enough by simply reading the Bible at home. But I know my own selfish heart. There is no way that I could ever push myself enough to truly change. Christ-centered confrontation is something that we are called to partake in. We are called to draw others closer to the Lord. We are called to listen when we are called out. I have always struggled with confrontation. Always. It's not something I am good at, not something I enjoy, not something I do willingly. Which is why community is necessary, why the church is essential to my spiritual walk. I am slowly (understatement) getting more comfortable with confrontation, but a large part of that growth is due to where the Lord has me right now.
Obviously I recognize that Lord has to be the priority and that friendships/relationships fall second to Him. However, I also see that true community changes a person. It does not allow them to be selfish. It does not allow them to be stagnate. It encourages authenticity. It breeds compassion. It is a support system rooted in the Truth. I change because those around me are stretching me- because it is what the Lord has called them to do.
Little green monster, meet my friends.
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