Smaller than an ant

I lost a big match today. Well, I suppose it wasn't very big, but it was to a thirteen year old. So maybe by big I mean embarrassing. Yes, I suppose that is it. I was winning and then I was winning again, but I couldn't win the entire set. Just back and forth and back and forth. I was so frustrated when I lost the first set, basically I couldn't even start to win the second set. I am so mad at myself I don't even know what to say. I'm to the point where I don't know if I actually have the courage to get back on the court. I am that freaked out. But I am supposed to play at 11 tomorrow morning. So what am I going to do from now until then? Take a shower, make a present, and thank God that He gives me strength.
I'll probably bust out the hot chocolate too.

alone

have you ever regretted something?
have you ever regretted something big?
have you ever regretted something big enough to want to crawl into a hole?

have you ever messed up?
have you ever messed up too much?
have you ever messed up too much to return where you came from?

i sit alone
i watch the sunrise in the snow
i stand alone
i watch the people as they go

i wish i had never
never dreamed about it
i wish i had never
let my imagination run

i wish you knew
knew that it goes far beyond today
i wish you knew
it takes a lot to feel okay

i sit alone
i watch the sunset in the rain
i stand alone
i let go of all the hurt and all the pain

i wish you knew
knew that life goes far beyond today
i wish you knew
just what helped to feel okay

you sit alone
you wonder who can make it right
I've cried alone
come meet the Way, the Truth, The Life.

a magic carpet ride

discovering a new world.

i've got 6 months before everything changes. i've got 3 weeks until school will no longer seem so important. but i know that any certain day things might change more drastically than i can even imagine. people wonder why i believe what i believe. people wonder why i trust in what i do. it seems as though i've finally begun to answer that question.