His banner over me is love.

I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power.

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.
I am a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.

I'm finished with low living, sight-walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, and dwarfed goals.

I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded.

I now live by faith, lean on his presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer and labor by power.

My faith is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven. My road is narrow, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, or negotiate at the table of the enemy.

I won't give up, shut up, let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus.

I must go until he comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me.

And when He comes for his own, He will have no problems recognizing me.

My banner will be clear.

the cornmaze of life

hello hello from the bunk in 108! it's a lazy day today. i spent three hours outside just enjoying the breeze and beautiful sunshine. Last night F and i went to a Pacer's game downtown, then went back and spent the night at my house. A and K (my spring break buddies) came over as well. i really enjoyed just being able to sit in my house and talk. it was good to catch up and hear how the ol' burg is holding up without the class of 05.

this morning F and i left around 10 30 from my house. i hope all of you were able to go outside at some point today, it honestly was the prettiest day i've experienced in a while. the breeze was crisp, the sun was warm, and the cornfields were incredible. i know, how indiana-hick of me. i was talking to F about how much I love cornfields... they make me feel so content, so peaceful, so..at home.

the trees are turning colors again. what a glorious sight! there is a certain satisfaction i get from knowing i am watching the leaves turn again. it makes me look back and thank God for another year of life and all of the blessings He's bestowed upon me. winding through the back roads by my house, driving through the natural tunnel of the trees, its amazing how comfortable I can become. i love trees!

nature is just too cool.

blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl: the sweetest thing.
U2 is really good by the way.

dorm life explored

sorry... i know its been way too long.

college is here. its fun. IWU is amazing.

I can't believe how faithful God is in answering prayers. Everything that I have needed, or wanted for that matter, has been provided. The university is focused on Christ, not on wordly success... that's probably the biggest answered prayer and relief. God is so real, and so alive!!!

tennis is going really well, and is almost over. this weekend is the conference tourney, so that's exciting. It's definetely been odd stepping onto a team this successful. It's odd to be at the bottom of the totem pole again, to have to start from scratch. my shoulder has been bothering me, but i think i've used it too much as an excuse. i'm ashamed to have to say that. i have a serious lack of confidence in myself and tried to excuse that with this shoulder thing. how pathetic!? the girls are all amazing, i'm definetely learning a lot from each of them. i love the difference in our lives and what we each bring to the court.

classes are going well. its amazing how many of them are about Christianity and the Bible. Old Testament and Psych are my favorites. Psychology is becoming more and more interesting, so thats a plus! :) Old Testament is just awesome because it forces me to read and discuss the "boring part" of the Bible. God is so big, and so amazing.

living in a dorm is fun. that is for sure. i love interacting and spending time with all my suitemates. there is quite a variety!!! F (my roommate) and i got along well from the start. I'm very grateful that we're rooming together. My dorm itself is fun. Its taken a while to get to know people, but slowly and surely I'm getting there. I love dorm life, getting used to being a room with someone else, and having my own schedule. i can't that i've mastered time management, but it's fun learning it... (at least for me...wink). It's different, but in a place like IWU, its too nice to complain about! :)

I miss my family. i just saw my grandparents for the first time in a month this past week. I miss them so much! I love them, just talking to them and with them. i can't believe its been a month since i've seen J & M...and i won't see them until thanksgiving. i hate that fact. i am so anxious to see them. i still can't believe theyre married. being such a family-person, its hard to be away from home. but again, God has provided.

I miss D. long distance relationships aren't fun. but i'm glad i'm in it. i'm learning a lot about patience...and diction. lol. I can't get over how amazing he is. as much as i miss him though, i think i am really starting to appreciate all of the things i'm being forced to learn. especially communication wise. Again, God is good and sovereign (He did create Verizon...).

I miss my girls. SO BAD. S, K, A, K (and then there's N...lol). it's hard to be away from them. experiencing all of this new stuff and not sharing it with them is so tough. so not fun. i want to be able to be there for them, in their celebration and tears. i'm changing, they're changing, and i'm scared that I can't keep up. waiting until thanksgiving? thats going to be torture.

my Bible has become much more imporant to me. i dont say that to be pompous or stuck up...but it truly has become much more valued. part of that is forced, since i have to reference it in class, but also when i have those moments of desparation. God is so good, so faithful, and so honest. He cares for my heart and my every need. He is so good. Life is so good. I am so blessed.

a fresh start

i don't have much time, but its been a while since i wrote in here. i'm trying to be a good steward with my time and money, college is amazing at screwing that up. lol. IWU is incredible, even though classes haven't started yet. :) God answered my prayers two-fold in blessing me with an awesome roomate, awesome team, and the incredible blessing of having a sibling on campus. I am so blessed. i have people who care enough to call, even when i don't treat them well. i can't get over that one. It's really been amazing to see how God has provided for me. I need to not take that for granted. ever.

three times a tear

D is awesome. i just want to say that, and make sure people understand that. :) He's gone for the month, but hopefully will pass quickly. its been a long day, but one that i'll remember for a while. i think im addicted to talking to him? is that a bad thing? hmm. well, after talking three times in one day, i think the loneliness is settling in. time to read the Good Stuff. that's all for now folks.

this is a good one.

thinking through

what to do

searching every angle

and point of view

good advice

well-rehearsed

only seems to make matters worse

when youre at a dead end

where can you go

my friend

theres an answer i know

pray

when the road is steep

pray

when your hope gets weak

know the father hears through

the silence and the tears you

pray

when you dont know how

pray

heaven's waiting now

and Jesus is just a breath away

pray

the deepest sighs

of the heart

sometimes its a struggle

when we first start

to wrap our needs

up in words

trust that somehow we will be heard

draw near

know you are loved

God hears

and His heart is touched

pray

when the road is steep

pray

when your hope gets weak

know the Father hears through

the silence and the tears

you

pray

for the strength you're needing

to go on believing

no matter what you face

you'll have the wisdom and grace

to pray

when the road is steep

pray

when your hope gets weak

know the father hears through

the silence and tears

you

pray

when you dont know how
pray
heaven's waiting now
and Jesus is just a breath away
pray

pray.

turkey's gone!

hey ya'll.

it's been years since i've written a new blog, ok, maybe not. but two months is a long time! so much has happened, so much has changed. for starters, school starts soon! graduation was awesome, and very very exciting. i'm done with high school, i'm still not sure i grasp that idea. J's wedding is two weeks and a couple days. can you believe it!?!! i am so excited, and so are they. it is going to be so much fun! tennis finished up, J (my partner) and i were ranked as first team all state doubles. thats pretty awesome! i am very excited about college tennis, but am nervous about being good enough to play on the IWU team. I went to europe for two and a half weeks, that was incredible too. God really showed me how big He is! I heard some incredible testimonies and met some really amazing people. plus, just traveling all over Austria and Italy at the end was really awesome too. hmm. let's see what else? oh yea, i guess there is the whole romance scene that has occurred in the past few weeks. God has certainly out done Himself in providing me with a prom date. can i tell you how much i love life right now? even with D gone, I am really loving just relying on God's love and comfort. Long distance relationships are no fun, but i've got to learn sometime. and learning i am. learning not to panic, not to just give up, or lose faith in the things that God has led me to enjoy. plain and simple? I'm blessed. big time.

thats progress

it may be somewhat cheesy, but I can say that i like the song, a lot. it applies to my life right now, big time. today/tonight has been incredible. God continues to work in my life in more ways that I could have ever imagined. Patience is the new theme of Laura Helm's life. However, I can tell you, I am so excited for those around me. My heavenly Father? He is SO good.

For Good- from Wicked the Musical

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
it well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

i found a date in a book today.

kinda nervous. i know i shouldnt worry, and i'm trying not to. i really am. God always has a way of allowing me to be tried on good days. :) what a smart guy.

my dad is having some sort of surgery tomorrow, and i am worried. however, God also has a way of protecting and preparing me for hard times. today, in came in the form of a little book called "my upmost for His highest." if you ever find that book, look at may 15.

The author, Oswald Chambers, writes:
"You did not do anything to achieve your salvation, but you must do something to exhibit it... May God not find complaints in us anymore, but spiritual vitality- a readiness to face anything He brings our way. The only proper goal of life is that we manifest the Son of God; and when this occurs, all of our dictating of our demans to God disappears... We are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants.

Rise to the Occasion- do what the trial demands of you. It does not matter how much it hurts as long as it gives God the opportunity to manifest the life of Jesus in your body."

wouldnt you breathe easier after reading that?

a brilliant evening, with a few surprises

i cannot express how much fun i had at prom. i was able to enjoy all of those around me and feel completely comfortable. if you know me, you know thats a big deal. i never tripped, another high accomplishment. although, i did trip on saturday night. funny how God is. this weekend has been incredible. I have been so blessed with my friends and family. if i could express my joy, i would! D- you are one cool cat and i will never forget how much fun driving in a car can be. i cannot wait to see what God has in store for my life. i decided to go to IWU today, and declared it to my family. im so appreciative that they all understood, even with some disappointment. i think that the most important thing i have learned is that you need to make the most of every opportunity. God is good, He is so good.

it's been a blast

i have a little of four weeks left now. all those stresses from earlier? well, not all of them are gone, but God has definitely blessed me recently. I'm becoming more and more anxious for people to understand who I am and what I believe. I would hate to leave the high school and have missed opportunities to think about. My friends, oh wow, I just don't know what I am going to do without them. If I'm going to FL, then I'm going to be homesick. Fo sho. However, at the same time, I am so ready to be done with high school. let's hear it for the cap and gown!!!! prom is next weekend. oh gosh, my stomach is already in knots...what if i trip??? lol, I'm very excited and am trusting that God will continue to guide me. Love you all!

thats my gavin.

Spending all my money on phone cards
Waiting for my ship to come in,
in from that ocean
Come home to this sea,
harboring in me
I don't believe in four-leaf clovers
All the luck they're supposed to bring
I've used all my wild cards
But there's something I can do
To get close to you
I've got dreams of love and I love you
I know you feel the same way too
I feel your spirit when you're near me
and when you're away
Somehow, somewhere I'll see you again
But until then I've got dreams of loving you
Thinking bout every little thing we ever did crazy
Sipping on that memory lane
That lane never closes, seven days of the week
I can drive in my sleep cause
I've got dreams of love and I love you
I know you feel the same way too
I feel your spirit when you're near me
and when you're away
Somehow, somewhere I'll see you again
But until then I've got dreams of loving you
Dreams I will share when I see you again
And I'll see you again pretty soon
I pray but until then I've got dreams
I've got dreams of love and I love you
I know you feel the same way too
I feel your spirit when you're near me
and when you're away
Somehow, somewhere I'll see you again
But until then I've got dreams of loving you

To a Beautiful Person

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He listens. He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose your heart. Face it, He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

-author unknown

please, friend, be filled with peace, there is hope in Christ.

leaving the dock of high school

i just started an new Bible Study called Anchors Away. Honestly? i am very excited. In it, i am learning how to defend my faith. it's supposedly a college prep Bible study. I cannot believe how much there is still for me to understand in life. how much i just do not know. so do me a favor, challenge me. if you believe in Christ, as the son of the Living God, then ask me a question. tell me to defend my faith. even if you don't, ask my to defend my faith. i'm not saying i have all the right answers, i'm just saying i'm curious as to how my faith will hold up in the "real world." i know i believe in Christ, but i'm also saying i am anxious to learn more.

"For us to know the real God, He must define Himself... not man."
Let God show you who He is by what He has told us through Scripture.

graham crackers and milk

graham crackers.

i only have 13 weeks left of my senior year.
i am worried about:
>what college to go to
>having enough money for college
>finding a dress for prom
>finding a date for prom
>getting everything done
>tennis season
>proving myself to my parents, but in all honesty? myself.

i should be worried about:


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. philippians 4:6-9

frustration explodes

How long will it take for you to understand how much you frustrate me? how long before you decide whether you really want to love me? how long will it take for you to realize how much you hurt me when you don't give me the light of day? I can't trust myself. I want you, but you don't want me. By the time you do, then I won't want you. It's happened before. Why can't we work this out? Why can't we just fall in love and get it over with?
I'm waiting, selfishly, to be wanted.
Why can't I be sensible and patient?
Why can't I be smart enough to realize that this shouldn't work?
Why can't I get over you?

whoo hoo, hooray...

My brother's engaged! yay rah! This was one heck of a Christmas break. I cannot tell you how much fun it is to watch people in love. most of my friends want to kill me because of how excited I am about Joel and Melissa's engagement. but honestly, who wouldn't be ecstatic about their sibling finally meeting the person of their dreams?

sorry girls, but love rules. :)