miss independent.

23 years old. Single. Unemployed.

Perfect.

The past four months have been unsettling, to say the least. It has been so incredibly hard for me (especially considering my personality), to not be able to plan. From graduation until today, I have not spend more then two & 1/2 weeks in one spot. I have been wrestling with juggling my future in my hands, momentarily grasping onto it, only for God to bobble it out of my hands once again. As soon as I began to get "comfortable," everything changed. From Indiana, to Alabama, to Indiana, to Florida, to Indiana, to Florida. My car is still half packed- waiting on its final destination to be announced. If only I knew!

It has been so incredibly hard for me to find joy these past four months. After having such an incredible last semester of college, after finding so much joy and excitement- and peace- throughout the spring, I found myself floundering. I so badly wanted to know what was next. I secluded myself from groups and from people, because I felt so unsure. I desperately wanted to be able to answer the looming questions [Where are you going to work? What are your plans? Are you dating anyone? What is next?], but their guess was as good as mine. I wanted to scream.

I spent an awesome weekend down at the lakehouse with my family a few weeks ago, and after pouring out my frustration to a cousin, was encouraged by her to dig into Ruth [don't you just love family?!]. I have been amazed at her willingness to do the next thing, even if she is completely unsure of what it is. She followed Naomi back to a strange city, lived among strangers, and worked a strange city- all without complaining. She did not have answers, but she was still just doing the next thing. What an example!

I think I need to reevaluate. I need to work now. I need to contribute now- even if I do not know where to begin. I need to take advantage of my independence and be eager to help. I need not be intimated or worried- He will provide. He has the best in store, and His plan for our lives is so much bigger than we ever could have conceived.

Blessed be His name.