pick and choose.

just figured i would give an update from last week's post.

court and i lost to fresno in the first round. it was insane how good they were. and insane is not an understatement. then we played Mckendree- the only other all american team at nationals- and we won in a third set super tie-breaker. it was amazing. we played so well, and had so much fun. our third round was against oklahoma baptist (another foreign team)... and we lost. i didn't play as well in that match, but regardless of how well we played, i can honestly say that we would have lost. lol. OBU actually got more games off of Auburn Montgomery (the eventual champions) than Fresno did... if that gives you any indication of just how good they actually were.

i'm more writing this post because of last week's than anything. it's amazing to me that it only took me a week to get back to right where i was last monday. i broke down on the way back to school on the phone with my parents. i was overwhelmed with how much i still have to do. i have so much to catch up on, especially three big tests this week. i just want to keep the standard that i have held in place the past three weeks... and i can't. if i do, i am a complete failure. i have to hold this year loosely. i have to hold my life loosely. i have to hold my job as an RA loosely. i have to hold my position as a captain and chaplain loosely. this past week, more than ever, i have felt like a failure in those two areas... and i have to understand that i am never going to be perfect. i am never going to get it all right. i am never going to do what i need to exactly right. and i have to be okay with that. i have to choose joy. i have to choose His strength. i have to choose His will. i have to choose to trust.

i still have so much to learn.