Thursday, May 20, 2010

headed nowhere.

24.

I'm not sure where this unsettling feeling came from. It's been festering for two months. Maybe more. I am loving where I am. I am loving the people that surround me. There just isn't peace. Joyful is the exact opposite of my emotions. Rest isn't an option.

I want to get up and go. I want to leave. I want to explore. I want to be adventurous. I want to see the world. I want to experience culture. I want. I want. I want.

I thought typing that would help me see my own selfishness. I see it, but I'm apathetic towards changing it. What does that even mean? What a sinner am I.

24 years of life. Have I done enough? Have I done anything? Have I really experienced anything?

My mind doesn't stop running. There is no break. "What ifs" consume my thoughts. It's exhausting. The possibilities are endless. When does it stop?

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